By Shevlin Sebastian
Reshma Nair (name changed) woke up one morning and felt a lump in her
breast. When the doctor examined her, he confirmed her worst fears. She had
breast cancer. She embarked on a course of chemotherapy. Finally, it was
decided to remove her breasts. When her husband came to know, he split up with
her and moved on to another woman. The couple had two small children.
Reshma recovered, but when her hair grew back, it turned out to be grey.
At 29 years of age, this came as a shock. When Reshma returned to the hospital
where she worked as a nurse, her superior said, “We like our nurses to be
beautiful young women.”
A shocked Reshma resigned and fell into a deep depression. She did not
know what to do. At her lowest point, Reshma heard about Zeenath PA, a social
worker who provided wigs for women who went bald because of chemotherapy.
When Zeenath came to Reshma’s house, with her wigs, she realised she
needed to shave off all the grey hair. After using a trimmer, when the wig was
placed on Reshma’s head, she looked beautiful. “A big smile broke out on
Reshma’s face when she looked at herself in the mirror,” said Zeenath.
She looked at Zeenath and said, “Now I am back to normal.”
Within a few weeks, Reshma got a job at another hospital and the
household was humming again, despite the absence of her husband.
The idea of providing wigs came to Zeenath by accident. She would
counsel patients at the cancer ward at the Government General Hospital in
Kochi. The women told her that they didn’t have a problem with having cancer,
but because of chemotherapy they had lost all their hair.
One woman said, “When we go home, our neighbours and our family members
look at us with a little bit of fear. Many of them don't know how to react to
us, especially the grandchildren who are very scared to come close to us.
Husbands also feel disappointed that we have lost all our hair.”
That was how Zeenath got the idea to provide wigs. When she did a few
inquiries, she came to know that there was a wig-making unit at the Amala
Institute of Medical Sciences (AIMS) in Thrissur. She met with the Joint
Director, Fr. Jaison Mundanmani, who agreed to provide wigs. On her own accord,
she decided to collect hair to help in the cause.
So, Zeenath embarked on a campaign. She spoke at schools, colleges, and
places of worship. She said, “See, you are taking your hair for granted, but if
you can share a part of it, somebody's life will be completely changed.”
And over time, people began to respond.
To her surprise, most of the contributors were young men. Many of them
had long hair, because during COVID-19, there were no barbers around. They
allowed their hair to grow long.
Once she met Arjun, a 22-year-old who lived in Fort Kochi. “When I saw
that he had long hair, I said, ‘Don't go to the barber and get the hair cut and
just throw it away’. Instead, you can give it to me. I can make good use of
it.”
Arjun immediately said, “Chechi, I will give it to you.”
So Zeenath herself cut the hair, took a photo and used it as her
WhatsApp status. “This had a lot of impact,” she said.
Another reason was that many contributors had someone in their family
who had been afflicted with cancer. “So they know the pain of losing one’s
hair,” said Zeenath. One physically challenged man told Zeenath, “I cannot give
my eyes, lungs or heart or money since I am poor. But it costs nothing to give
my hair. I know it will grow again.”
Zeenath needs a minimum of 30 cm of length. Three batches of hair are
needed to make one wig. “Not everybody has thick hair,” she said. Zeenath is
looking for natural black hair. The problem with coloured hair is that when it
is washed, it turns white. And no woman wants a wig with white hair.
Every night, Zeenath washes the hair with shampoo and hangs it out in
the courtyard to dry. A couple of weeks ago, Zeenath held a camp in
Cheranalloor, where twenty men volunteered to donate their hair.
As Zeenath has become better known, she gets calls from
Thiruvananthapuram, Kannur, Kollam and Kottayam districts informing her that
they would want to contribute. A day before I met her, a lady dentist from
Aluva donated a portion of her hair.
But women are not easy contributors. “Those who are unmarried are
reluctant to give because they are still in the marriage market and want to
look beautiful with lustrous long hair,” said Zeenath. “Those who give are
usually married women with children. But sometimes, they need the permission of
their husbands. Many of their husbands like their wives to have long hair. So
they are unwilling to give their hair unless the husband gives his consent.”
Sometimes, a donation can backfire on the contributor. Priya, 35, had
very long hair. Her husband admired it. Tragically, he died of late-stage
cancer. A dejected Priya lost the incentive to keep her hair long. She donated
it to Zeenath. But in the conservative neighbourhood that she lived in, people
began gossiping. They said, “It seems she was waiting for her husband to die
before she could cut her hair and style herself like a model.”
That was very painful for Priya to hear.
Like Priya, Zeenath has also experienced painful moments. She has
provided wigs for terminal patients. “Many of them wore wigs for a few months
before they passed away,” she said. “But they told me they were happy that for
a while, they could pretend their lives had returned to normal.”
But there were many joyful moments, too. She said her thrill was to see
the look of ecstasy on the face of the woman when she placed the wig on her
head for the first time. Until then, many of the women would not go out at all.
They would become recluses.
Zeenath remembered the case of Saraswati. Her husband was run over by a
truck and died instantly. For the next twenty years, Saraswati struggled so
that she could provide an education for her daughter, Annapurna. When Annapurna
grew up and was about to get married, Saraswati got cancer. She was cured but
she ended up becoming bald. Saraswati told Annapurna she would not be able to
attend the marriage.
Annapurna was shocked.
“What are you saying Amma?”
Saraswati said, “I cannot show my bald head in public.”
“You are the most important person to me,” said Annapurna.
Despite the daughter’s entreaties, Saraswati was adamant.
But through a close friend, Annapurna heard about Zeenath.
Zeenath came to the house and fitted the wig. A proud Saraswati took
part in all the celebrations. Zeenath was also invited and at the reception
Saraswati held her hands and told Zeenath, “I will never forget what you have
done for me.”
Meanwhile, Zeenath has been taken aback by the varied reactions to
cancer. Some accept it as the will of God, while others react angrily.
One woman told Zeenath, “If there was a God, He would not have made me
go through so much pain and suffering. God is very cold. I have prayed so many
times to God, but He has not even cared for or looked after me.”
Another woman said, “Is there somebody called God? In my experience,
there is no God.”
Sometimes, the neighbours of the afflicted woman tell Zeenath, “She
deserves it. She has behaved very badly with us so God has punished her.”
Zeenath would say, “Please don't talk like this. Nobody knows why you
get ill. Sometimes it is because of genes. The mother might have the cancer
gene and the children are likely to get it too.”
Thus far, Zeenath has received hair from about 6000 people. The wigs
that are made are given free of cost. She bears the cost of cleaning them, and
is helped sometimes by her two sons and a daughter-in-law. For her work, she
has received numerous awards from charitable trusts, including the Aluva-based
Sahrudaya Sangeetha Karunya Vedi and AIMS.
No matter her ups and downs, Zeenath says, “I know the work I do is
going to transform lives. Every time I see a woman smile when she looks at
herself in the mirror, I feel a surge of energy inside me. It makes me feel
good.”
(Published
in rediff.com)
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