By Shevlin Sebastian
As I was wandering among the racks of the EMS Cooperative Library at Kochi, I saw a thick hardcover book: ‘Becoming’ by Michelle Obama (published in 2018). I checked the memory bank in my brain and realised I had not read any reviews. So, I did what I always do, when I am in two minds about taking a book: I read the first paragraph.
But I did not have to go that far. Her first line immediately caught me with its clarity: ‘When I was a kid, my aspirations were simple’.
Then she continued: ‘I wanted a dog. I wanted a house that had stairs in it -- two floors for one family.’
Michelle kept up this simplicity and honesty throughout the book.
It was an easy and enjoyable read. Women will enjoy it more because it is a woman’s perspective on life, and she writes about how hard it is to balance motherhood and a career. I liked the fact Michelle had no qualms about writing about her lower middle-class background on Euclid Avenue in Chicago. In fact, she was proud of it.
In my career I met too many celebrities who pretended they did not climb the ladder to success. They acted as if there was no ladder. I remember the New Delhi-based wife of a billionaire, who was wearing a large jade ring, and was visibly offended when I asked this question to her in a hotel at Kochi: “Did you ever imagine when you were living a middle-class life before your marriage you would end up becoming so rich?”
The interview went downhill after that. She did not want to be reminded of her roots.
But not all are like that. A friend told me about how American fashion icon Kim Kardashian was publicly grateful to the hotel heiress Paris Hilton. Kim worked as Paris’ assistant and closet organiser over a few years, and, through her, gained international exposure and became a huge fashion brand. Today, Kim’s net worth is over $1 billion.
Just a couple of days ago, I watched an interview with legendary actor Al Pacino with Canadian journalist Herby Moreau where he says frankly that he came from a poor family. And he remembered, with gratefulness, his drama teacher in school who encouraged him to take acting seriously.
For Pacino fans, here is the link to the interview:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XterHqhzC-g
And in Kerala, there is leading businessman Kochouseph Chittilappilly who has spoken publicly about how he would travel around in his scooter in the 1970s trying to drum up business for his voltage stabilisers.
Kochouseph debuted on Forbes' Billionaires list in 2018 with a net worth of $1.2 billion.
I am sure Michelle would have answered the question with sincerity.
When you always remember your roots two things happen. You are grateful for whatever has happened in your life. Al Pacino kept saying how lucky he was. Surely, luck, or the touch of God plays a huge part in a successful career and in life, too.
Secondly, by remaining humble, inner growth can continue to take place. If you want to stay relevant, you have to continue to grow inwardly. Growth should only stop when you die.
If you get puffed up, inner growth stops, because you feel you are a top gun and there is no need to do anything more. This results in stagnation and an inevitable fall from the pedestal.
Back to the book: Michelle traces what it was like to be a black girl growing up in Chicago. She writes about her education in mostly all-white institutions and her work at a law firm where she met Barack Obama for the first time.
Barack was interning with the firm and had been assigned to Michelle. Their love bloomed and it was all very nice to see. But what drew my breath away was the imaginative way Barack proposed to Michelle. ‘Wow,” I thought to myself. ‘Wow, wow, wow.’ Cleverly, he adopted the opposite tactics moments before. He asked Michelle, “Is it necessary to get married?” That got Michelle’s goat, and she argued intensely, like the trained lawyer she was, about how necessary it was if they were serious about their relationship. Michelle also speaks frankly about her life-changing experiences as the wife of a two-term President of the United States.
For this book, I adopted a new way of reading. As soon as Michelle mentioned a name, let’s say, her mentor at Princeton University, I would google the name and read up about that person’s life. This turned out to be very interesting. Many of them ended up working for Michelle when she became the First Lady in 2008.
Moral of story: if you treat people well,
especially youngsters, they will remember it and might help you when they reach
positions of power.
I remember my chemistry teacher in St. Xavier’s
school at Kolkata. A trifle eccentric, he was a good man at heart. In his
seventies, when he fell into financial difficulties, the call went around among
his former students, many of whom are at the apex of power in many fields in
India and abroad (that’s the advantage of a Xaverian education). It was no surprise
they collected Rs 35 lakh and gave it to him.
Sometimes, I went to YouTube and listened to a particular speech which Michelle mentioned. All this is very good, but you end up taking a lot of time to finish the book. About half-way through, I dropped this idea and read the book only.
Another problem I am encountering, with alarming frequency, is that after reading ten pages, I get a twitch in my brain. So, I stop reading and pick up my mobile and go online for about 15 minutes to get my ‘fix’. Yes, there is no doubt checking the phone is an addiction.
This is becoming a major problem. We constantly need the mental stimulation that comes from browsing on the mobile. Increasingly, the book, with its bland black text, is getting to be boring. Despite being an intense book lover, it is clear the mobile has damaged me and my brain in ways I cannot yet fathom.
Although it is a fact that the satisfaction one gets from reading a book is deeper, soul-nourishing, and stimulates your imagination far better than scrolling on a mobile phone, the browsing continues non-stop. Surely, the future of book reading is up in the air. Babies born today are going directly to the screen instead of the printed text. Will they be attracted to printed books when they grow up? Who knows?
Expectedly, there are several nice quotes in Michelle’s book, but one caught the eye: ‘Women endure entire lifetimes of indignities — in the form of catcalls, groping, assault, oppression. These things injure us. They sap our strength. Some of the cuts are so small, they are barely visible. Others are huge and gaping. Either way, they accumulate. We carry them everywhere, to and from school and work, at home, while raising our children, at our places of worship and anytime we try to advance.’
