In youth’s lustrous glow, a glance at the future

 

By Shevlin Sebastian

Most evenings, after I finish my run, I go for a walk to relax my muscles. Frequently, I walk past a group of fifty-odd aspiring nurses, aged between 18-20. They have stepped out of their college hostel to go to the canteen some distance away.

Expectedly, there is a lot of laughter and giggles, high-pitched yelling and teasing jibes. They wear midis, maxis, jeans, trousers, skirts, and, of course, the go-to practical garment for every woman in India: the salwar kameez. All of them wear slippers or flip-flops. And there is always the musky aroma of coconut oil, which they have pressed liberally into their black hair.

When I look at them, I realise they are at the start of their adulthood. Soon, destiny will start making its moves. After their graduation, some will go to the US and Europe. The rumour is that there is a shortfall of nurses in America and Ireland. So, they will try their luck. If some go, they will lift their families, especially post-Covid, when most people are hurting financially.

This step of going abroad will transform their lives. They will become confident and outgoing. Later, most of them will become prized assets in the marriage market. But now, since they have the upper hand, these girls can make choices, and pick the most eligible man.

Some will go to other states in India. Several will work in Kochi and Kerala itself.

What sort of marriage will they have? Again, destiny will play its role. Some will be lucky and have caring husbands. Others may get wife-beaters. There may be husbands who could be alcoholics, drug addicts or womanisers. Some husbands may be lazy and don’t want to go to work. The entire pressure of earning a livelihood will fall on the woman. But there will be some girls who will fall into the lap of luxury because their husbands are business magnates or top-drawer professionals. Or these women may set up nursing homes or hospitals and end up becoming successful entrepreneurs.

Who gets what? It’s a throw of the dice. Who can explain why some have a smooth ride in life, while for others, it is a steep uphill climb on a problem-strewn path. When I look at my friends, some have successful marriages, some have split up, while a few are in agony because they are so unhappy in their marriages but remain unwilling or unable to break up. Some have become widows, losing their husbands early and are struggling to run the family.

How many children will the nurses have? One, two or three. There will be some among them, even though they are nurses, who will find it difficult to conceive. Then they will embark on another type of suffering. The desperate visits to expensive fertility clinics, even as they endure the sarcastic comments by relatives and grandmothers who will poke their stomachs and say, “Is there anything inside?” Bit by bit, the carefree scenes they experienced in their hostel life will become like a faded photograph.

Some will have health issues. They may suffer from a malfunctioning thyroid, diabetes and osteoporosis. An unlucky few may get breast cancer and have to undergo a mastectomy. They will worry if their husbands will lose interest in them and go outside for pleasure.

And what about the loss of looks as they age? How agonising is that? They had prided themselves on their lustrous hair, bright cheeks, thick red lips, and sparkling eyes. Now, life’s repeated blows and sheer ageing will dim it all.

Of course, it is not all darkness and gloom. Many will experience pure happiness. A fulfilling career and harmony in the home. They will have enough money to spend on clothes and good food, go on annual vacations, have a satisfying relationship with their husbands, and be able to send their children to the best schools.

For many parents, children will provide happiness. Parents feel thrilled, especially if their children shine on a national or international stage. Think about the joy of the parents of Neeraj Chopra, India’s first Olympic gold medallist, and PV Sindhu when she was crowned world badminton champion.

But children can cause sorrow. What happens if a child dies in a car accident? That is an agony that will never lessen, despite the passage of time. The whole of Kerala was aghast at the recent car accident in Kochi, where two young girls died at the peak of their youth. What about a child who becomes an alcoholic or drug addict, a criminal or murderer?

But in life, you realise light and darkness are twins. You cannot enjoy one without the other hovering in the background. So, bad times can be followed by good times and vice versa. As these girls went past, I thought about all these things.

It all boils down to your destiny. But we have little control over it or about God’s decisions regarding our lives.

As the noted but controversial film director Woody Allen once said, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.”