When my mother was a child, she and her younger brother Joseph (Babu) would go for morning mass at the Holy Magi church in Muvattupuzha. On the walk back home, a distance of about 800 metres, at some point, they would start sprinting. Each wanted to reach home before the other so they could read the newspaper first.
This was one of my mother’s most enduring memories. She would keep repeating this story over the decades, but she never told us who won, and we, self-absorbed children, forgot to ask. For my mother, the thrill was in the race.
My uncle Babu Vadakel was an advocate. He practised for decades in the Kerala High Court. Babu Uncle was known among his family members for having a sharp brain, a quick wit, and a charming smile. His eyes gave this message: ‘I know what you are up to. You cannot fool me.’
My cousin Joseph said, “During our younger days, we would be in awe of Babu Chettan. He had smart looks and a stylish dress sense. Babu Uncle had an exemplary skill of blowing the smoke out in circular rings one after the other.”
My conversations with Babu Uncle were interesting. I gained many insights.
Life went on. However, in the latter stages of his life, his health broke down.
On November 20, Babu Uncle passed away, aged 83, at his home in Kochi. He leaves behind his wife Rani, daughter Reena, son-in-law Monis, and grandchildren, Joseph and Rosina.
Of nine brothers and sisters, only my mother, now 87, and her youngest sibling, Anthony, 76, remain.
When cousins of my generation viewed Babu Uncle’s body, many had a shocked look on their faces. Some had a realisation that death was going to come to all of us. My uncle himself may have attended hundreds of funerals in his lifetime. Now it was his turn, just like it will be for us.
Each time a close relative dies, there is a blow to the heart, followed by heaviness. And sometimes a thought arises: what is the meaning of our lives? Where do we go in the universe?
Stereoscopic 3D filmmaker AK Saiber, my neighbour, has made a scintillating 90-minute 3D film for school students. It is about the solar system and the universe. The distances are all in lakhs of kilometres. The temperatures on some planets, like Neptune, are hundreds of degrees below freezing point. On Jupiter, there is a continuous storm every day and night of the year. It has been going on for centuries.
Saiber takes the viewer out of the solar system into interstellar space. Then the camera reverses and a voiceover states the Earth is too tiny to be seen from the outer limits of space.
And then you wonder where in this vast universe the souls go. Where is their resting place? Considering the long history of the earth, could there be millions of souls? Where is Babu Uncle now? Has he met his parents, siblings, friends, and acquaintances who were on the other side? Can he see us even though he is not in physical form? Is there divine energy? Can Babu Uncle see God finally? Many people who had suffered a temporary clinical death spoke about sensing other people and silently communicating with them.
When my uncle was in the last month of his life, he kept saying that he could see his parents and siblings. This happened to my father when he was nearing his death.
Hussain, 35, was the home nurse who looked after my father. He told me that in all the 24 deaths that he had overseen, in every instance, the parents and relatives had come in the final stages. It seemed they provided reassurance and to tell their loved ones not to be afraid. But none of Babu Uncle’s family members saw anything.
So, does this happen? Science has dismissed them as hallucinations.
There are many questions. However, we will not get any answers till we die and go to the other side.
All these thoughts swirled through my mind as I stared at my uncle lying in peace in the coffin.
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