COLUMN: Spouse's Turn
Indu
talks about life with the Carnatic singer Sreevalsan J Menon
Photo by Suresh Nampoothiri
Indu
met the musician Sreevalsan J Menon when they were both first-year B.
Sc. students at the College of Agriculture, Thiruvananthapuram.
“Right from the beginning, we had a similar wavelength,” she
says. “I would share a lot of my thoughts with him. I felt he was
calm and pure-minded.”
During
the first year, one of the teachers, C. Bhaskaran said, “Today, I
am a very proud teacher. Yesterday evening, during the Onam Week
celebrations, one of our students had performed well. It was an
introduction to [Carnatic vocalist] Neyyattinkara Vasudevan's
programme.” That was when Indu realised that Sreevalsan was good in
singing.
Things
got serious during a month-long South India study tour by the
first-year batch in 1990. One day, Sreevalsan went to Indu’s room
which she was sharing with the other girls, took her to one side, and
said, “I want to marry you.”
It
was not a surprise for Indu. But she remained silent. “My father
was a disciplinarian,” says Indu. “I thought, ‘Will he get
upset?’”
Nevertheless,
a couple of days later she said yes to Sreevalsan.
When
she returned to Kochi, where her father worked in the Cochin
Shipyard, she told her younger sister Sindhu about it. “Do you
think it is an infatuation on Sreevalsan's part?” said Sindhu. But
Indu had no doubt about Sreevalsan’s love. So once when her father
and Indu went to the Sree Poornathrayeesa temple at Tripunithara she
told him about the proposal. “Initially, he was shocked,” says
Indu. “It took him some time to accept it. Finally, he asked
whether Sreevalsan's family would accept me. I said that they would.”
Sreevalsan's
mother said that they had no problems as long as the horoscopes
matched. And it did.
In
the meanwhile, Sreevalsan and Indu sat for exams conducted by the
Indian Council of Agricultural Research, Delhi. Both of them passed,
and secured fellowships. While Indu went to do her masters at the
Tamil Nadu Agricultural University at Coimbatore Sreevalsan did his
at the College of Agriculture at Vellayani.
He
would go to Coimbatore every now and then with his friends to meet
Indu. “We would all go out to have lunch,” says Indu. “Sreevalsan
would also write letters to me. There was nothing romantic in them.
He would give a list of new English words and tell me to study it.
So, I bought a Thesaurus to improve my English.”
Eventually,
the marriage took place on September 8, 1996. Asked about her
husband’s plus points, Indu says, “Sreevalsan is very calm. I get
tensed up over the smallest of matters. And he will always say,
'Don't worry, everything will work out.' That always turns out to be
true. Both of us are God-fearing. He is a man of positive thinking.
He never makes a negative statement. Sreevalsan is very loving. He
buys me sarees often. He likes me to wear Bengal cotton.”
Indu
continues, “I feel very secure with him. I know that he is always
there for me. When he is not at home, I feel that I am missing
something. But when he is there, I feel complete. The love is still
strong.”
As
for his negative points, Indu says, “Sreevalsan does not look at
the practical aspects of running the house. He has entrusted that to
me. When there are a lot of tasks to do, sometimes, I wish he would
help me or show some appreciation.”
Meanwhile,
as an artist’s wife, Indu has no problems that music is his first
love. “He has compartmentalised it in his mind,” she says. “When
Sreevalsan is singing, he is fully immersed in it. But when he is
with the family, he is all attention.”
Today,
Sreevalsan works as an Associate Professor at the Kerala Agricultural
University in Thrissur while Indu is an Agricultural Officer of the
Krishi Bhavan at Chottanikkara. The Tripunithara-based couple
have two children, Subhadra, 16, and Narayanan, 12.
With
the children, he is like a friend. “But Sreevalsan insists on the
importance of behaving properly with relatives, strangers, teachers
and friends,” says Indu. “My daughter is a teenager. She will
come home and tell her father about certain issues between her and
her friends, like how they make fun of the teachers. Sreevalsan
listens carefully and gives advice.”
When
the family has free time, they watch movies. “The last film we saw
was 'Dhoom 3',” says Indu. “Sreevalsan likes Hindi, English,
Malayalam and Tamil films. He watches English films a lot to listen
to the music score.”
Meanwhile,
when asked about tips for a successful marriage, Indu says, “Husband
and wife should give space to each other. There is no need to be
possessive about each other. You also have to give and receive
respect. That is very important. Think positively all the time. Then,
all your troubles will be resolved.
(The New Indian Express, Kochi, Thiruvananthapuram and Kozhikode)
No comments:
Post a Comment