Some thoughts as I saw myself in a news video

 

By Shevlin Sebastian

When my sister sent a 6:49 minute video from Nanma 24 Channel, I clicked on it. So imagine my shock, when, at the 2:21 minute mark, I found myself in the video walking in a blue T-shirt, shorts and sneakers.

This was what happened. In the evening, as usual, I had gone to Attipetty Nagar for my evening jog, but found a barrier right at the entrance. So I stopped, parked my two-wheeler and walked through. I noticed a man holding a microphone in his hand.

I also observed large perpendicular cracks in the road, next to the Edappally canal, and assumed some road repair was going on.

But that was not true. The road was in the first stages of collapse. The mud beneath it had shifted, thanks to recent rains, and according to the voice-over in the news video, the road could cave in at any moment.

It was an odd feeling to watch myself from the back. I thought I looked a bit fat around the hips. But, when I sent it to a friend, known for her reassuring remarks, she assured me I looked fine. When I enlarged the image, I realised she was right.

It also raised a question for me: what do people think about me when they see me from the back and the front? What conclusions do they come to?

Recently, an aunt of mine met a few friends of hers who had seen me run. They told her they thought I was from North India.

This is partly true since I have spent many years in Calcutta.

One of them added, “Why does he have to run so much? And so fast?”

What do I think of my running?

I am not running very fast. It takes about 600 metres before I can feel my creaking joints get into some sort of rhythm.

So, what I think of my actions, and what others think of it may be the opposite.

It could be a revelation if you were to ask people: what do you think of me?

I also observe people even as I run, my mouth agape, gasping for breath and sweat dripping down my face: So, is that thirty-something couple married? They talk so much. Do married couples speak so much? Not in my experience. Why do they walk slowly? How can there be any physical benefit if they do not put the heart under strain? You need to walk fast, and pant a little if you want to gain something from this walk.

But after their walk, I am sure they would have felt they had done a good bit of exercise.

Another couple in their seventies: I always hear constant bickering between themselves as I speed past them. Looks like all affection and love have been burnt out.

What about the girl in her late twenties in a T-shirt and track pants? Does she not have any friends? Why does she always come alone? Is she married? Or divorced?

What about the pony-tailed woman, a mother of two sons who ride cycles? She is always speaking to somebody on the phone, through her earphones. So I think, ‘Who is she talking to? A woman? A man? Her mother? A colleague? A lover?’ Sometimes I think, ‘Have never seen her husband at all.’

She could say the same thing about me.

This analysis is happening both ways.

One day, a man stopped me and said, “Are you a doctor?”

“No,” I said.

“Oh, a lady walker told me you are a doctor,” he said.

So we spoke. And he was a priest. I would never have guessed that because he was in a collarless T-shirt and denim trousers.

A young nursing student stopped me and said, “What is your name?”

My first name is very unusual in Kerala. So, they play the word over in their minds and nod imperceptibly.

“You run very well,” she said.

“Thank you,” I said.

But do I?

The standard is so low in our state and country. So few do any exercise. So, if someone does a bit, it’s considered great. My cousin from Chicago told me he runs 10 kms a day. So that put me in my place .

Another walker, Rafiq (name changed), a successful entrepreneur, in his early thirties, also put me in my place.

“For a runner, you do have a paunch,” he said.

I looked down at my stomach, not very big, but felt embarrassed by what he said.

I took it as a challenge.

I immediately cut sugar and rice from my diet. Astonishingly, two months later, my stomach is nearly flat, my trousers have become loose, and I had to increase the notches on my belts.

So happy for that put-down by Rafeeq.

I was about to say, “You come with your mother?” when he told me, “I come with my wife. You must have seen her.”

I nod, glad that the question about his mother had been stuck in my throat. Since she was wearing a hijab, I could not guess her age.

So, everybody is evaluating each other as we go about our exercises in the evening, trying to keep healthy.

Interesting, the thoughts that came up, as I saw myself for a few seconds in a news video.