A cross-country love story

Kristina Semaskaite is probably the first Lithuanian to fall in love with a Malayali, Johnson Varghese. She plans to marry him

Photos: The happy couple; the singer Monika Linkyte

By Shevlin Sebastian

When friends of Kristina Semaskaite met, a few of them spoke about the beauty of Kerala. They told her it was a place she had to visit. So, when she planned a trip to India in January 2020, she added Kerala to her itinerary. In early February, she came to a homestay, run by a man called Sagar Raja, on the beach in Alappuzha (53 kms from Kochi).

Her first impressions confirmed what her friends had said. “It was so green,” she said. “Compared to other states in India, it was much cleaner. There was less chaos on the streets. The people were friendly, and helpful.”

What surprised Kristina was to see so many churches. “I did not know there were so many Christians,” said Kristina, who belongs to a country that is Catholic. “I didn’t notice so many churches in other parts of India. I liked the intermingling of the faiths, with the church, mosque and temple side by side.”

Within a day of her arrival, Kristina, 33, met Johnson Varghese, 34, who was also living in the homestay. He runs a cafe where he sells tea and snacks and also manages a guesthouse for tourists. They were introduced to each other and started chatting. Soon, they got on the wrong foot when Johnson asked Kristina about her plans for the future.

She said, “I would like to settle down, get married and have children.”

Johnson scoffed and said, “A European backpacker like you wants to have a family. I don’t believe you.”

Kristina said, “Yeah, yeah. Who are you to judge me?”

However, over the next few days, they realised they had some things in common. Both believed in doing social work and helping others. Both had worked on different projects. Johnson is a joint secretary of the Democratic Youth Federation of India (Alappuzha unit).

Johnson told Kristina about his charity work during the calamitous floods that hit Kerala in 2018. Many families fell into difficulty. He also protected animals. “That got me interested in him as a person,” she said. “I realised he cared for others. He has moral values.”

Kristina developed a liking for Johnson. It was the same for him. At the end of March, as Covid became even more rampant, Kristina left India on the very last flight. “We were only friends at that point,” she said.

They remained in telephonic contact. “We kept talking a lot,” she said. “I had plenty of free time because we were in a lockdown in Lithuania.” But Johnson was very busy, as he was providing much-needed rations to poor people.

At some point, both felt the need to meet again and find out whether their relationship could work. But they had to wait for several months.

In March, 2021, Nepal opened the doors for foreigners to visit the country. Kristina went there to do social work. She asked Johnson to come. He took a train and arrived soon after.

The project was to restore a dilapidated building of the Big Buddha National Academy. Popular Lithuanian singer Monika Linkyte was the spearhead. She received funds from donors in Europe, including Lithuania. “We painted walls and repaired floors,” said Kristina. “We got to know each other better. I could see how hard-working he was. I appreciated how respectful he was to the older people and the children, even though he could not speak the local language. Little by little, I fell in love.”

The turning point came on May 16, the last evening of the project. There was a barbecue on the terrace. Music was being played. The volunteers were chatting with each other.

At this moment, Johnson presented a ring to Kristina, who was sitting on the floor, and proposed.

In the event's video, Kristina burst out crying. Johnson, who was wearing a multi-coloured shirt and white dhoti, hugged her. He presented a small bouquet of daffodils. A volunteer played a guitar, while Monica sang her hit song, ‘Silkas’ (‘You are my silk’). Then Kristina hugged Johnson. Then she cried again. Johnson tried to soothe her by caressing her face. Finally, she said yes and hugged him. The onlookers clapped and shouted their approval. It was a silver ring with stones. “I liked it, because I am not fond of diamonds or gold,” she said.

She knows it will be a challenge to live in Kerala. “There is a language barrier,” she said. “In the area where I stay, in Alappuzha, few people know how to speak English. Sometimes I feel lonely.”

Of course, Kerala differs greatly from Lithuania. “Our country also has a lot of greenery, but our trees are different,” she said. “We have pines, birches, oaks and elms. There are many forests. But during the winter all the greenery is under a blanket of snow.”

The climate is different, too. In February, it is cold in Lithuania, while Kristina is perspiring in the heat and humidity of Kerala. “In Lithuania, winter ends in March,” she said. “There are four seasons of three months each: spring, summer, autumn and winter.”

Kristina finds the weather in Kerala hot in the middle of the day. “I love the mornings and the evenings, especially after sunset,” she said. “But in the afternoon, I feel lethargic. That usually never happens to me when I am back at home. I am very active and move around a lot.”

In a surprise, Kristina said she likes the spicy food of Kerala and enjoys fish curries. “I go to the local restaurants in Alappuzha and have no problems at all,” she said.

The traditional food in Lithuania comprises potatoes and meat. The national dish is the Cepelinai. It consists of grated potatoes, stuffed with meat, cheese or mushrooms. “During the long winter, vegetables were scarce,” said Kristina. “As a result, we would rely on potatoes as they last a long time. Pork and chicken make up the meat. The meat provided energy in the cold months. But things have changed in recent times. Plenty of international food is now available throughout the year in the supermarkets.”

The date for the wedding has not been set. They have applied for a civil marriage. The waiting period is from one to three months. “As for the ceremony in the church, we will wait till our parents and relatives will be able to travel to India,” she said.

Kristina’s father, Jouzas Semaskaa and mother Roma are both agricultural scientists. She has one younger brother, Paulius, who works in a German electronics company. Kristina belongs to a small town called Akademija, which is 160 kms from the capital of Vilnius.

Asked whether her parents had any problems about her impending marriage, Kristina said, “My parents are tolerant people. They felt that since I have travelled around the world, I might meet somebody with whom I would fall in love. My mom worried only about the cultural differences, and how it would pan out in the future. But other than that, my parents were very accepting.”

Unlike her parents Kristina is not inclined towards an academic career. She is passionate about travelling. She would work a bit and save the money to spend on travelling. So far, she has journeyed to over 80 countries on all the five continents. In most places, she did volunteer work, especially with children.

She says that people are the same all over. “Everybody wants to be happy, to love each other, and to have families,” she said. “The only difference is economic. The children in African countries have limited opportunities, while compared to youngsters in places like the USA and Europe. That is the singular difference.”

She has learnt not to discriminate against human beings based on their religion, culture, colour or dietary habits. “There are only good or bad people,” she said.

She has had a few unpleasant experiences like her luggage getting stolen or people trying to cheat her. But now she has developed an antenna to watch out for those who want to take advantage of her.

In Delhi, she went to a travel agency. They tried to sell a ticket, but when she checked the price on an app on her mobile, she realised they were charging ten times the actual amount.

As for the attitude of Johnson’s family towards her, Kristina said that when she met them for the first time at their home in Kottayam a month ago they were very welcoming. “They showed me a lot of love and kindness,” she said. “Since I don’t know how to speak Malayalam, Johnson helped with the translation.”

Kristina admits she may be the first Lithuanian who is planning to wed a Malayali. “I know of Lithuanians who have got married to Indians from other states,” she said. “I am sure there are Europeans who have married Malayalis.”

Kristina is keen to take Johnson to Lithuania so that he can understand her background. “It will help increase our understanding of each other,” she said.

(Published in news9live.com)

https://www.news9live.com/.../lithuania-to-kerala-a-cross...