In the twilight zone

Former journalist Sooraj D Singh had a car accident. It rendered him mute and paralysed. On the 9th anniversary, his mother, Devi J.S., talks about her experiences as a care-giver

Photos: Sooraj D. Singh in his prime; with his mother Devi J.S.

By Shevlin Sebastian 

One of the first things that Malayalam writer Devi J.S. does on waking up is to take an artery forceps and put cotton between the blades. Thereafter, she will dip it in a small steel bowl which contains mouthwash. Following that, she rubs the cotton all over the teeth of her paralysed son, Sooraj. Because of a lack of use, the lower teeth have fallen to a horizontal position.

At 6 a.m., she gives Ensure protein powder in liquid form through a plastic tube; this runs through the nose into the stomach. She gives nine feeds at two-hour intervals. The food items include oats, ragi, fruit juice, Complan, boiled rice, and vegetable soup. He is fed 300 ml each time.   

At 8.30 a.m., the home nurse Annie and the physiotherapist Dinesh arrive. Dinesh massages all the areas of the body, turns Sooraj around, and thumps him on the back. Thereafter, Dinesh, with Devi and Annie in attendance, gives Sooraj a sponge bath using soap and water. After that, Dinesh rubs moisturisers and oil into the body. “We have to do this to prevent bedsores,” said Devi.

As a former colleague comes to visit, Devi said, “Sooraj, look who has come?”  

All Sooraj can do is blink his eyes, but there is no recognition. 

“To be honest, we don’t know what he feels,” said Devi. “He does not express anything. But the doctor says it may be possible that in some part of his mind, there could be consciousness.” 

There have been many instances when Sooraj has not recognised his mother. “He won’t smile at me,” he said. “Before the accident, he was a friendly boy. We were so close to each other.” 

But Sooraj reacts to physical pain. This happens whenever a health technician inserts a needle in the tip of his finger to take out blood for a test. Then he looks away from the needle. 

Sooraj was a journalist. He had worked in The Week magazine, as well as the Times of India. His luck ran out on January 5, 2013. 

At 8.45 p.m., Sooraj was crossing the road on National Highway 47, at Edappally, where he had gone to meet a friend, when a car hit him. An 85-year-old man, a retired college professor, Thomas, was the driver. By mistake, he pressed the accelerator instead of the brake. The car skidded and hit Sooraj at high speed. The 6’ tall Sooraj went up in the air, landed on the bonnet and shattered the windscreen. From there, Sooraj fell to the ground. He was profusely bleeding from bruises on his head. Blood also poured out from the nose and the ears. 

Thankfully, Thomas did not flee. He took Sooraj in his car to the nearby KIMS Hospital. He spent three months in the hospital. To get expert treatment, Devi, her daughter Resmi and son-in-law Sajai took him to the Christian Medical College in Vellore. Sooraj remained there for five months, but there was no change. The doctor’s prognosis: Sooraj had suffered severe brain damage and became paralysed. The family brought him back to KIMS Hospital. “When the doctors examined him, they said there was nothing more to do,” said Devi. “But they also said a miracle could happen at any time.” 

Since Thomas had insurance, the company had to pay the compensation. “My son-in-law Sajai and I had to go every day to the court,” said Devi. “It was a big strain for me. They would offer Rs 25 lakhs. We would say no and this bargaining for Sooraj’s life went on and on.”  

Finally, after five years, they received suitable compensation. Professor Thomas never came to see Sooraj after the accident. Nor did he offer any personal compensation even though his sons lived in the US. “He said he did not want to bother his sons,” said Devi. “But he promised to pray for Sooraj. However, I thought, ‘Prayers won’t pay my son’s bills’.”  

The monthly expenses come to Rs 70,000. “Whenever there is a lack of money, it comes from somewhere,” said Devi. "It could be a relative or one of Sooraj’s friends who would send money. God is looking after me.”  

Sooraj had health issues earlier. On September 13, 2004, Sooraj, who was 33 at that time, had an aneurysm (this is a bursting of an artery which results in internal bleeding in the brain). At Amrita Hospital, Sooraj underwent a craniotomy. This involved opening the skull and clipping the artery. After that, the skull and the skin are stitched back. Thankfully, he made a full recovery. 

Earlier, in 2001, he had an arranged marriage, and the couple had a son Anand. But problems soon cropped between husband and wife. When Sooraj was in the Amrita hospital, his wife returned to her parents’ home with her two-year-old son, Anand. She never returned. In 2010, the court granted an ex-parte divorce. Anand has never met his father for the past 17 years. 

For Devi, the breakdown of Sooraj’s marriage was a painful experience. Because, like Sooraj, she, too, lost her husband. She had to fend for herself and her children. Thankfully, she had a job as a section officer at Mahatma Gandhi University in Kottayam. Her parents also supported her and so she could raise her children comfortably.  

Nowadays, Devi advises girls that whatever situation arises in life, they should never resign from their jobs. All girls should have a job before they get married. “I tell this because anything can happen to a husband,” she said. “He might fall ill, he might die in an accident, or he might want a divorce. So, it is better to have your own income. Then you can support the family.” 

Devi also had her share of health problems. At 38, Devi suffered from the early stages of ovarian cancer. But prompt chemotherapy nipped it in the bud. But when she was 56, the cancer returned. Again, chemotherapy could stop it. 

It has been nine years since Devi began looking after her son full time. They live in a sixth-floor apartment in Kochi. On the second floor lives Resmi with Sajai and their two children. Near the house is the well-known Toc-H Public School. You can hear the announcements and the singing of the National Anthem over the public address system.  

Asked how she copes with the situation, she said, “I am positive minded. Whenever I am in front of Sooraj or anyone else I have a smile on my face. I don’t blame God for what has happened. I believe that one day Sooraj will sit up and talk to me.”

But Devi also admits that sometimes she loses her tranquillity. There are nights she cannot sleep because of one overriding thought. ‘What will happen when I die?’ she thinks, as she is 71. ‘Who will look after Sooraj? It will be a burden for my daughter.’

She will pace the floor of her bedroom, up and down, drink several glasses of water, but sleep does not come. She remains awake the entire night. 

On days she feels low, Devi distracts herself by watching films on Netflix or Amazon Prime at her daughter’s flat. Or she reads books by young Malayalam writers. When she gets into the mood, she writes something. She has published 14 novels and collections of short stories. Devi is also a columnist. 

When asked about his qualities as a person, his former male colleague, who did not wish to be named, said, “Sooraj was ebullient and fun-loving. He liked to have a good time. He had a wonderful laugh. Women liked him a lot. I remember once he brought a stunning woman, dressed in a black top and trousers, to the office. There was an easy camaraderie between them. Later, he told us she was a model.” 

Devi added, “When Sooraj worked in The Week in Kochi, he travelled every day from our home in Kottayam. Sometimes, at night, the train would be late. Worried parents would tell their daughters to ask Sooraj to drop them home.” 

A thought arises: can Sooraj access his memories? Or has he lost his sense of self? 

“Nobody can answer that question,” said Devi, with a sad shake of her head.

(Published in News9Live.com)