When time runs out (reflections on death)

Pics: Russian leader Joseph Stalin; Sri Yukteswar Giri (left) with Swami Paramahansa Yogananda; outer space

By Shevlin Sebastian

As you get older, it seems like every month there is news about somebody passing away. Almost all of them are relatives, many of them a generation or two above me. In earlier times, people attended funerals. But now that everybody is busy, you can come in before the burial, pay respects, offer condolences to the family and leave. A stream of relatives and friends arrive at the house as early as 6.30 a.m.

Usually, the person is placed in a mobile mortuary in the living room. Did the deceased ever imagine that he would be lying there? (for ease of writing, using one gender).

It was a room where he may have greeted many visitors. He may have exchanged small talk and fed them tea and snacks. Laughter might have erupted now and then. But now, he lay still and unmoving, in a horizontal position, his eyes closed. People came and stood near him in silence and stared at him 

Later, they spoke to family members who recounted the last few days before the person passed away. People listened sympathetically. Many of them have had similar experiences: of their parents passing away, or elder siblings and relatives.

What thoughts go through people’s minds when they stare at a dead body?

Mostly, you recall the person when he was alive. The last time you met him. What type of person was he?

“There was always a smile on his face,” said one onlooker after glancing at a body and strolling away to talk to a friend. “That is so rare. People look so glum and tense these days.”

And these are common responses which one hears at many funerals:

“Oh, I met him a week ago. Who would have thought he would pass away so quickly?”

“Nobody told me he was gravely ill. The family did not inform anybody.”

“He looks ravaged.”

“Looks the same.”

“He has lost weight. Poor fellow.”

“Don’t mind me saying this. He was a bit of an asshole. A person who only cared about money. He sold his soul. Now what’s he going to do with all that cash? Take it with him?”

This last sentence was said with a smirk.

In my experience, very few dead people have any expression on their faces. It is rare to see someone with a smile. You always get the impression that they are looking at something that has transfixed them a couple of moments before they died. They are no longer aware of their family members or their life on earth.

When you looked at a dead body, it reminded you of your mortality. You say to yourself, ‘If I died at the age this person died, I only have 10, 15, or 25 years left.’ 

That can leave you depressed. Time is running out. The number of years has decreased. In middle age, I am now on the downward slope to oblivion.

Once when I was viewing a dead body, a thought arose in me.

How many breaths does a man take before he takes his last breath?

According to Google, if you live till 80, you will take 672,768,000 breaths.

A person may experience lakhs of thoughts in his lifetime. So, what was the last thought the person had before he died? Was it something random, like, ‘Today is such a hot day.’ or ‘I can’t bear this pain.’ Or was it an angry thought: ‘I hate myself.’

Russian leader Joseph Stalin passed away on March 5, 1953, at 74, following a stroke. His daughter Svetlana Alliluyeva wrote about the moments before his death: 

“The death agony was horrible. He choked to death as we watched. At what seemed the very last moment, he opened his eyes and cast a glance over at everyone in the room. It was a terrible glance, insane or angry, and full of the fear of death. 

“His suffering came because God grants a peaceful death only to the just.”

A transition to the other world can be difficult. Too many people suffer before they can pass. A director of a palliative care home told me that in 30 years, he had seen only five percent who passed away easily. The rest had to suffer. So when I hear news that somebody has passed away suddenly, I always say to myself, ‘God has been kind.’ 

And what happens on the other side?

The other day, I read an extract from ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’ by Swami Paramahansa Yogananda. In it, he talks about his just-deceased guru Sri Yukteswar Giri.

Sri Yukteswar appeared in flesh-and-blood form in a Mumbai hotel bedroom on the afternoon of June 19, 1936.

Sri Yukteshwar explained to his disciple about life on the other side.

“Prophets are sent on earth to help men work out their physical karma, so God has directed me to serve on an astral planet as a saviour.

“It is called ‘Hiranyaloka’ or Illumined Astral Planet. There, I am aiding advanced beings to rid themselves of astral karma and thus attain liberation from astral rebirths.”

So, what do you think of this? Some of you may be sceptical, but I like to keep an open mind. The more open it is, the more you can absorb messages from all sources.

Nobody can say with certainty what happens on the other side. All we can be sure of is that there is some sort of energy there. Bernard Harris, the first African-American to go into space, said, while on a visit to Kochi, “In space, everything is perfect. The planets, the solar system and the galaxies – all this did not happen by accident. There has to be some higher power which orchestrated all this. My faith in God deepened.”

Many of us will encounter this higher power only after we die. It is only the most revered saints and seers who get a glimpse of it while they are alive.

Perhaps, our one way of paying respect to this energy is to stay positive all the time. I feel that makes the energy happy. This may also increase our chances of dying with a smile on our face.