A session on true crime

 

Happy to do an interview on the Harper Broadcast Channel on World Book Day last month with Rasheed Kidwai and Prakash Patra, authors of the book, 'The Scam That Shook A Nation -- The Nagarwala Scandal' and crime writer Kulpreet Yadav, whose book, 'Dial 100', is about to be released

Here is the YouTube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlfuxU-xFU4

A write-up on my great grandfather, Ninan Xavier

By Shevlin Sebastian

Last week, I had gone to pay condolences at the home of my cousin Thomas Job, who passed away at the age of 73 in Nadeckepadam, near Changanacherry.

High up on the wall of the living room I saw a painting.

This was of my great grandfather Ninan Xavier (1862-1948).

The painting was done in 1926. Which meant, he was 64 years old.

My late uncle Kurian Sebastian, who had a deep knowledge of family history, once wrote about Ninan.

Here are some points from the article:

Ninan was married to a woman called Achamma who belonged to Allapuzha. However, 22 days after she gave birth to a son, in 1887, she died.

Thereafter, Ninan married a lady called Thresiamma.

They had six children: one son and five daughters.

Ninan loved agriculture. He was the first to plant rubber trees in Madappally village, 100 kms from Cochin. This became a financial success.

The rubber was sent to the Swiss trading firm, Volkart Brothers in Cochin. Their Cochin branch was established in 1859.

Ninan ordered bottles of Plymouth gin and cigars from Volkart Brothers. This was delivered by boat, which was the primary form of transportation in those times.

Ninan was also the pioneer of sericulture (silkworm breeding). The Director of Agriculture made frequent visits to check on the crop. The Diwan also made a visit.

Silkworm breeding became a success.

Later, Ninan became a contractor and built several major roads in the district.

No surprises then that he bought and owned a lot of land.

In 1927, Ninan contested from the Changanacherry/Peerumade constituency. He won the election and became a member of the Sree Moolam Assembly.

Ten years later, his son-in-law PJ Sebastian won from the same constituency.

Kurian Sebastian mentioned that when traders would go at 4 am on bullock carts towards the market in Changanacherry, they would sing the praises of Ninan when they went past his house.

Ninan died on January 25.

My son was born on January 25.

Is it coincidence or reincarnation?

Who can say?

Life is a mystery.

Meeta Shah’s Journey After the 2006 Mumbai Bombings

Photo: Meeta Shah (right) with Esha

On July 11, 2006, Meeta Shah’s husband, Tushit, 44, died in the Mumbai rail blasts.

In Part 1, published in ‘The Hindustan Times’ on July 16, 2006, Meeta spoke about the immense loss that she felt, and described the chaotic hospital search for the body of her husband, and the gut-wrenching days that followed.

Here are the links:

https://www.linkedin.com/.../2006-bomb-blasts-railway...

In Part 2, she talks about the ensuing years. She describes how she struggled from deep despair to a place today where she has experienced gratitude, a measure of happiness and a spiritual awakening.

By Shevlin Sebastian

On July 11, 2006, seven bomb blasts devastated the suburban rail network in Mumbai. It resulted in 189 deaths and over 700 injured. According to the Mumbai Police, the terror outfit Lashkar-e-Taiba orchestrated it along with Pakistan’s Inter-Services Intelligence.

One victim was Tushit Shah, 44.

As the city struggled to rebuild and heal, Tushit’s wife, Meeta, 44, struggled to come to terms with her own trauma.

Immediately after her husband’s death, Meeta realised she had to keep her emotions under control. That was because both her parents were heart patients.

“I was told not to cry in front of them to avoid further health complications,” she said in an interview a few days ago.

One day, Meeta heard Tushit’s voice saying, “Meeta, Meeta! Please accept it. I am not there. Please take care of Esha.”

So, Meeta placed Esha on her lap telling her, “Don’t worry dear, I am here. Nothing will happen.”

Esha’s nervous system would become stiff and freeze (pre-epileptic stiffness). This occurred a few times before they took Tushit’s body for cremation. Esha was 16 years old.

Meeta suffered from the guilt that she was not there when Tushit breathed his last. Nor did she attend the cremation. “I told myself that I had to take care of my little one now,” she said. “Esha clung to me the entire night and did not want to leave me for a moment as well.”

After two months, Esha started travelling on the trains again. She always carried her father’s mobile phones with her. Somehow, one by one, she lost them.

Meeta said, “Esha, Papa wants us to free him and move on, beta.”

But despite saying this, Meeta would always look out for him.

“Somehow, it took time for me to accept that he was not there,” she said. “So, from the bus I would look out for him in the crowd coming out of the station hoping to get a glimpse, or wait for the sound of his bike.”

There were no bike sounds. Instead, for the next ten years, till 2016, Meeta suffered from nightmares. There were times she would awaken in the middle of the night, gripped by grief, and taking quick breaths, as if she was asthmatic. Through it all, Meeta was always aware of Tushit’s energies around her, especially when she crossed the rail tracks to go over to the eastern part of the town.

Sometimes, Meeta received miraculous replies and answers.

Once, Esha and Meeta were returning from the bank after closing Tushit’s account.

It was raining.

Esha asked whether she could play the radio in the car.

“Yes, of course,” said Meeta.

While driving, Meeta lost herself in her thoughts.

She whispered, “Tushit, where are you? Please talk to me and tell me where you are.”

Suddenly, the song, ‘Mein yahan tu kahan...... zindagi hai kahan? (Where am I? Where are you? And where is the world?)’ sung by Bollywood superstar Amitabh Bachchan and playback singer Alka Yagnik came on the air.

Oh, Tushit replied, concluded Meeta. This is not a coincidence.

Meeta stopped the car by the side of the road, got out, took a deep breath, and tried to quieten her racing heart. People only die physically, she realised. They are alive in another dimension.

Esha said, through the car window, “Mama, should I change the station?”

Meeta said, “No need, dear. It’s Papa telling me something.”

For Meeta, the song was so meaningful, as she released the clutch and pressed the accelerator.

Suddenly, she remembered their nicknames for each other.

Tushit used to call Meeta her Rekha [Bollywood actress] because of her dark complexion. Meeta would call him Amitabh [Bachchan], as he was tall, with a similar French beard and hairstyle.

One month later, when Esha had left to attend classes at the Patkar Varde College in Goregaon, and her mother had returned to her home, Meeta was alone for the first time in her house.

That was when Meeta took her bolster pillow and placed it in the same place where Tushit was last laid in the house. “Cradling it, I cried my heart out,” said Meeta. “I released a lot of my pain that day. I had to do it as it was all stuck inside my mind, body and soul.”

Though that moment eased her pain, Meeta discovered as the days went by, nothing could fill the void in her heart.

She said, “I lost the best person in my life, the family breadwinner, my life support system, my finance manager, my positive half, my soulmate, my child’s father, my best non-judgemental and accepting counsellor, a smiling and helpful soul, and so much more!”

Reflecting on their 21-year marriage, Meeta remembered she would often ask Tushit why he agreed to marry her.

“I am dark,” she told him. “In matrimonial ads, families seek fair and lovely girls.”

He replied, “Meeta, I was looking for someone I could gel with and have the same mental wavelength. I was also looking for somebody who was honest and smart. I was not looking for a fair girl.”

Meeta said, “I am grateful to the Lord that Tushit said yes. And I had the most wonderful relationship with my husband.”

In 2009, Meeta got a job as a psychologist and counsellor at the Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies, Mumbai.

She worked there for 12 years.

By 2010, as she settled into her career, Meeta experienced a spiritual metamorphosis.

For a long time, she had been angry at the Universal Energy for taking Tushit away so suddenly.

“I believe in karma,” she said. “For every action, there will be a reaction. I know nature will respond to those who have killed innocent lives as it returns what you give to the universe.”

Drawing on her religious beliefs, Meeta said, “I often feel sadness for people filled with angst and hatred. They have not seen love. I pray the Almighty gives love to all. And I also accept that God took Tushit away for a reason, which I will never understand.”

Meeta tried to get married, but somehow it didn’t work out. “There is nobody to match Tushit,” she said.

Her parents took it in their stride.

Her husband’s uncle led a branch of the Vinoba Bhave ashram, a spiritual community dedicated to non-violence and service. So, it was no surprise when he offered support by drawing on his philosophy of empathy.

He told her, “If you decide not to be in a relationship, I will not ask why. We trust you. We are with you. However, don’t stop searching. It’s important to have a life partner.”

As for Esha, she got a degree in biotech from the DY Patil College School Of Biotechnology And Bioinformatics. Simultaneously, she completed her diploma in patent law. Thereafter, she started applying abroad for her master’s degree in cancer research.

She got admission to an esteemed Australian university on a full ‘live-in expense’ scholarship.

Today, Esha has a PhD in cancer cell and molecular biology. She is working on managing projects for clinical trials. And is happily married too.

“I have a son-in-law who takes great care of her, and me,” said Meeta. “What more can I ask for?”

Meeta’s journey from grief to gratitude will make Tushit happy. At 63, it has brought her to a place of inner calm and tranquility. And her turnaround will inspire many who have faced similar tragedies.

“Eventually, despite many attacks on our spirit, love always wins,” she said. “That’s what Tushit showed me with the way he led his life.”

Spouses of diplomats talk about their experiences in different countries across the world

 

Captions: The cover; President John F Kennedy; Hope Cooke with her husband, the Chogyal, ruler of Sikkim 

Delhi-based journalist Reshmi Ray Dasgupta wrote that when her mother Gayatri was posted to Berlin, she wanted to buy a cushion (kissen in German). But she inadvertently said, kussen (which means kissing). The shop assistant didn't waste a moment. He immediately landed a peck on her cheek, leaving Gayatri completely embarrassed.

In Cape Town, Gayatri entered a shop with a group of people which included one white woman. The salesman said that he would only serve the white woman. The white woman was outraged and the group walked out of the shop. ‘It was Ma’s “Gandhi-ji at Pietermaritzburg” moment,’ wrote Reshmi. ‘She resolutely shunned everything South African until apartheid ended 34 years later.’

Gayatri was in Washington when Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru made his third visit. At a White House gala, she was admiring the paintings on the wall when there was a tap on her shoulder.

When she turned, a man said, “Hello, my name is John. What’s yours?”

“Gayatri Ray,” was the reply.

“Ray? You’re Bengali!” the man said.

“How did you know I am Bengali?” she said.

“Ray…like Satyajit Ray, right? So, you’re Bengali!”

Apparently, a few months earlier John F Kennedy, the president of the United States, had watched Ray’s Apur Sansar.

The ruler of Sikkim, Chogyal got married to an American woman, Hope Cooke (Sikkimese name: Gyalmo). As a result, the American festival Halloween was celebrated in Sikkim because of her influence.

Sudhir Devare was the First Secretary of the Political Office. His wife Hema wrote that one night, as they settled in for the night, there was a loud thud at the door.

The servant Tulsi opened the door.

When Sudhir entered the drawing room, he saw a group of youths banging drums. Leading them was the Chogyal’s wife Gyalmo. Soon, Sudhir and Gyalmo started dancing. When Hema appeared in the drawing room, Gyalmo put Hema’s hand in her husband’s.

‘She left as suddenly as she had arrived, leaving both of us speechless,’ wrote Hema. ‘The next day the episode was the talk of the town.’

In 1980, Prem Budhwar was appointed as Ambassador of Ethiopia. His wife Kusum said that when they arrived, they received a shock when they discovered that the Ethiopian calendar consisted of 13 months. The 13th month consisted of five or six days in the leap year. The year began on September 12 and not on January 1.

Prem told the foreign minister that when he was in college he had an Ethiopian classmate by the name of Tessima Ibido who came to study on a Government of India scholarship. To Prem’s shock, and happiness, the Foreign Minister said that Tessima had just retired as deputy finance minister.

Kusum wrote, ‘Within a couple of days Tessima called and came over to our home. What a warm meeting it was between the friends! The clock stood still as they reminisced about the happy days of their youth spent together in Shimla.’

All these heart-warming anecdotes have been recounted in the book, The Other Side of Diplomacy, edited by Jayshree Misra Tripathi. The writing style is simple and clear. So, in effect it is an easy read. The stories are from the viewpoints of spouses of career diplomats who have served in Indian missions abroad.

However, as former diplomat Shashi Tharoor mentioned in the foreword, in the Women in Diplomacy Index 2022, brought out by the Anwar Gargash Diplomatic Academy, UAE, India ranked 26 in a list of 40 countries and the European Union.

‘About 16.9 percent of the ambassadorial positions in the [Indian] missions have been held by women,’ wrote Tharoor.

In this book of 16 essays, only two are by male spouses. Here’s hoping the gender imbalance will be corrected in future.

The stories are from countries as varied as Tajikistan, Ethiopia, China, Brazil, Switzerland, Austria, Zimbabwe, Russia and the Korean Peninsula.

While it may sound glamorous and exciting, in many places, the living conditions were rudimentary, and life was difficult.

When Anuradha Muthukumar went to Tajikistan, in the 1990s, she was told by the members of the mission that the central heating system in most homes ‘had either broken down or lacked the fuel or energy to keep them going. Civil war had devastated the economy, rendering repair or maintenance of utility services nearly impossible. There was almost no public transport.’

And nearly all the women had to sacrifice their careers so that they could be with their spouses. Now, perhaps, with remote work, it may be possible to work, no matter where the posting is.

The disruption to family life could be heart-breaking. Children have to adjust to a new education system, new language, and new classmates. And the process of adjustment can be traumatising.

Once somebody said, to one of the daughters of spouse Anita Sapra, ‘All this moving around must have been exciting.’

She replied, ‘I will never put my children through what our parents subjected us to.’ While this remark hurt Anita, she understood the sentiments behind it.

Shreedevi Nair Pal wrote that once the Head of the Chancery came up to her and told her the allowance for a national day reception would not cover professional caterers.

‘So, there we were, my cook and I, making monstrous amounts of kebabs, chicken tikkas and samosas for about five hundred people,’ wrote Shreedevi.

She confirmed that spouses dealt with the ordinary people like the plumber, electrician and the baker, while their husbands, ‘mainly interacted with the social and political elite of the country they were posted in. And regardless of where they were posted, they never really had to step out of their comfort zone, as their work environment was more or less the same.’

For the spouse, to be able to communicate when the language was a foreign one, can be difficult and stressful, too. Of course, there were compensations, too. You met the most brilliant and accomplished people of the country. You saw the stunning tourist sites. This was always an enriching experience for the family.

And there were funny moments, too.

Once, in Baghdad, Shreedevi presented a beautifully wrapped gift to her husband, Satyabrata, on his birthday.

‘I will never forget the look on his face and the laughter that followed when he opened his gift,’ she wrote. ‘It was a hammer; the only thing that was available at Orodibaag, the government shop. Suffice to say it is still in use.’

Asiya Hamid Rao, while in Vienna, got a few party tips from another spouse, Mrs Menon of the Indian diplomatic corps:

a. Strike a balance between gravy and dry items.

b. Ensure the dishes are of different colours: green, yellow, brown, white and multicoloured.

c. Never lose sight of people’s religious sensitivities; hence, never serve food that is taboo for religious reasons.

d. It’s a good idea to ask your guests beforehand about any dietary restrictions.

When Anita Sapra was in Seoul, she took a taxi. When the driver came to know she was from India, he started singing a song from Haathi Mere Saathi.

‘What a rare sight to behold,’ she wrote. ‘Me in a taxi on the streets of Seoul singing a song in my own language. Later on, I learnt that Haathi Mere Saathi was a popular film in Korea in 1975. It was renamed Holy Elephant and many children thronged to watch it in theatres.’

However, tension always remained as perennial background music. It rose a hundred fold when a Prime Minister or a President came visiting. The pressure that nothing should go wrong during the trip could take an emotional and psychological toll on both husband and wife.

Or as Sharmila Kantha wrote, ‘I have accompanied first ladies during their state visits to India, sat through amateurish but enthusiastic community functions, stood for hours in heels to greet nearly a thousand guests at our national day receptions, attended numerous national day receptions of other countries, where I smiled inanely at people.’

Added Jayshree Misra Tripathi, ‘My heart used to beat a hundred times faster, as each Independence Day and Republic Day approached, hoping the chosen menu would suit everyone from back home – north south, east, west, northeast and northwest too – all fellow Indians. They always came first.’

The book gives us an insight into the difficult lives of spouses in foreign missions. There is an endless amount of adjustments to be done. With a busy husband, most of the time the wife has to tackle things on her own. She also has to handle the burden of the children’s stresses almost single-handedly as they try to adjust to life in a new country. What strikes the reader is the personal and job sacrifices these women have made, so that their husbands could have successful careers.

In the end, they were heroines in their own way.

(Published in kitaab.org, Singapore)

Going Dutch

 

Sarah Lisa, from Holland, runs the Zera Noya bakery in Kochi. She talks about the reasons behind its success

By Shevlin Sebastian

On a Monday afternoon, the rain is pelting down. Outside the Zera Noya bakery in Kochi, in a cemented courtyard, a two-and-a-half-year-old girl is playing in the rain. She lets out a shriek of joy as she looks at her mother, Sarah Lisa, 32, who is sitting at a glass-topped table and working on a laptop.

Her mother smiles to see the joy on her daughter’s face. To a visitor, she said, “Many people are shocked that I have allowed Adayah to play in the rain.”

Sarah has been running the bakery for the past one-and-a-half years.

Zera is a Hebrew word, which means seeds sprouting. This indicated a new beginning, while Noya means beautiful in Hebrew. The word can be connected to Naya in Hindi, which also means new.

“I like the Hebrew language, and hence I chose these words,” said Sarah. Initially, because of Covid, she was baking from home and selling to customers.

The physical bakery began on February 14, 2023, on Valentine’s Day.

The items that can be found in Zera Noya include Bokkenpootje (Goat’s Feet), so named because the pastry looks like a goat’s feet. It is a meringue with apricot buttercream dipped in chocolate and almonds.

Then there are stroopwafels, which is a caramel waffle and famous all over the world. You can also have the Strawberry Slof. This contains almond paste, vanilla buttercream and strawberries.

The Marzipan Mergpijp is a cake with a layer of cream and strawberry jam, while the boterkoek comprises a butter cake with almonds. Speculaas is a type of biscuit. Other items include caramel tarts, muffins, truffles, apple pie and tarts, rondo, cupcakes, cinnamon braids and brownies.

They also make freshly baked bread, as well as savouries like sausage rolls and chicken puffs.

Sarah said that the most popular item is the Strawberry Slof. Asked why, she said. “It is the combination of the cookie, which is nutty and has fudge, sweet but not too sweet, and there is buttercream on top. But the cream is not so sweet, and there are fresh strawberries. It has a nice balance.”

Asked about the composition of her customers, Sarah said, “There are all kinds of people, from different backgrounds and ages.”

The prices range from Rs 30 and can go all the way to Rs 400. “Some items are expensive because we use authentic Belgian chocolate, French butter and German cream. The croissants, dipped in chocolate and cream, are at the higher end.”

Asked about the difference with Kerala bakery items, Sarah said, “Bakers in Kochi use margarine and poor quality vegetable oil. But I use butter only. It is creamy and pricey too. And I always buy Callebaut Chocolate from Belgium, which is one of the best premium chocolates in the world. In Kochi, they use compound chocolate.”

Compound chocolate is a mix of cocoa powder and vegetable fat.

The store is open from 10 am to 10 pm.

The bakery is doing well.

Denise Anne from Nairobi wrote on Trip Advisor: ‘This is a great bakery filled with tasty treats and a warm and welcoming staff. The coffee is delicious and so are the baked goods.’

Adds customer Lijo Joseph: ‘Classic and authentic.’

Sarah has a staff of 19 people who work in shifts.

The Love Story

Sarah Lisa met Vibin Varghese for the first time in July, 2013. This was in Hongkong. They were sailing on the ship, ‘Logos Hope’, and were on their way to the Philippines.

While Sarah worked as a chief baker on the ship, Vibin, a marine engineer, worked in the engine room. Both were volunteers on the ship, which is regarded as the world’s largest floating book fair. Over 10 lakh people from all over the world access the ships every year.

Sarah liked Vibin when she saw him for the first time while they were coming from opposite ends of a corridor of the ship. But she felt too shy to approach him although both said, “good morning” to each other.

“Vibin had a charming smile,” said Sarah. “He worked hard and also had many friends.”

They became Instagram friends.

When the MV Logos ship was being dry docked in Hongkong, Sarah flew to China. While there, she met some people who needed help to set up a bakery. And that was how she ended up in Kangding on the China-Tibet border. It is 2000 kms from the capital, Beijing. She stayed for a brief while. But over the years, she kept going back.

In 2017, when she was in Kangding, she began chatting with Vibin on Instagram. Vibin was on a ship that had docked in Mexico. “He felt excited to connect with me,” said Sarah.

Sometime later, Vibin went to Kangding. After spending five days with Sarah, Vibin said, “I love you. I want to marry you.”

Sarah also felt a connection to Vibin.

The couple got married in Bangalore on May 5, 2018. Vibin grew up in Dubai but he chose Bangalore as the venue for his wedding because he is close to a pastor based there.

Soon after the wedding, they came to Kochi, where Vibin’s parents had an apartment and settled down. Both had stopped their careers and were thinking of forging a fresh path.

“Vibin gave up his career because he did not want to be away from me for nine months at a time,” said Sarah.

It was in March, 2023, that Vibin got sick. In April, doctors diagnosed him with Stage 4 Linitis Plastica, a rare form of gastric cancer.

Unfortunately, on December 21, 2023, Vibin, 36, passed away.

When asked whether she planned to settle down in Kochi or return to Holland, Sarah said, “Many people thought that when Vibin passed away, I would go back. But at this moment, I can’t. I feel very settled here. I have imagined what it would be like if I closed down the bakery and went back. Where would I go? But then I realised Kochi is home.”

Sarah was born in Den Helder, which is 84 kms from Amsterdam. The country’s main naval base is located there. Adhaya knows how to speak in Dutch, and is learning Malayalam and English.

When asked to compare the character of Malayalis with the Dutch people, Sarah said, “The people in the Netherlands are direct and honest. They are private and less curious. Many aunties in Kochi ask me nosey questions. This is fine. I have got used to it. I am embracing it.”

Nobody says hi or good morning when they see each other, even if they are strangers. Sarah said that in Holland everybody greets each other.

“Malayalis are very reserved people,” she said. “In Kerala, dining rooms are always closed. You don’t want other people to see you eat. But in Holland, the dining rooms have large windows that open out to the street. The curtains are parted. A passer-by can wave to you when he is walking past and you are having a meal. And you wave back.”

On October 15, Sarah held a fundraiser to help the families of cancer victims. To her surprise, more than a thousand people turned up. There were people who had come from Thrissur and Kottayam to support the cause.

To Sarah’s surprise, many people came to chat with her because they were going through a similar situation where a family member was suffering or had died from cancer.

Sarah met Rosamma Chacko (name changed). Rosamma, a woman in her forties, told Sarah her husband had shared the same hospital room with Vibin when they had to undergo a chemotherapy session. Both had the same type of cancer.

The two men had chatted with each other. Sarah remembered seeing Rosamma, but they did not talk to each other. At the bakery, Rosamma told Sarah her husband died a few months later. The two women hugged.

“It made me realise I was not the only one who had suffered this tragedy,” said Sarah.

The proceeds went to families who had mounting hospital bills because one of the family members had cancer. And they did not have the financial resources.

At the bakery, even though it is raining, a steady stream of people come in. There has been darkness in Sarah’s life but inside the bakery it is all sunny and bright.

(A shorter version was published in The Sunday Magazine, The New Indian Express, South India and Delhi)