Thursday, July 18, 2013

“My Husband is a Bold Person”

COLUMN: Spouse's Turn 

Neena talks about life with the director Vinayan

Photo by Mithun Vinod

By Shevlin Sebastian

When Neena Nair saw Vinayan for the first time, for an arranged marriage meeting, she was struck by his eyes. “They were powerful and attractive,” she says. “Vinayan had a strong personality. He was dressed like an executive and looked handsome.”

At that time, in 1984, Vinayan was a sub-engineer at the Kerala State Electricity Board in Thiruvananthapuram. Since Neena's parents were government servants, they were happy to know that Vinayan also had a steady job.

The marriage took place on February 9, 1985 at the Sreemoolam Club at Thiruvananthapuram. In those times, the concept of a honeymoon had not set in, so they went nowhere.

As Neena gradually came to know her husband better, the quality she admired the most was his boldness.

Once Vinayan feels that his course of action is right, nobody can sway him, not even myself,” she says. “In other words, he is stubborn but I regard it as a plus point. When he decided to take the plunge and enter the film industry, there was opposition from his family, my family, all our relatives and friends. But he refused to change his mind.”

And it was this steadfastness that helped Vinayan when he single-handedly tried to end the domination of the big stars. “He was attacked from all sides,” says Neena. “And during that difficult period, only a few times did he feel low. Otherwise, he remained strong. The battle was fought from our home. I was a witness to many discussions, but I was not scared. Instead, I suffered a lot.”

But Neena was gratified by the public reaction. Whenever the couple stepped out, people would come and shake the director's hand. “They commended Vinayan for standing up to the might of the stars,” says Neena. “Some said, 'We saw you on TV, and what you said was correct. You should remain bold and strong. Now we know what is happening in the industry.'”

Incidentally, this bold man becomes very nervous on the Friday when his own film is being released. “Vinayan will remain in bed all the time,” says Neena. “He does not attend to phones. He will keep watching the news on all the channels. That is his way of tackling the tension. Otherwise, he will walk up and down the room.”

The family, consisting of son, Vishnu, 26, and Nikhila, 23, feel the same tension. “The film is like a baby to all of us,” says Neena. “When my son was in the US, doing his M. Tech, he would call frequently to know whether the film has done well or not.”

After the matinee show the result will be out: hit or flop. “If the film is liked by the people, his face changes and Vinayan feels very happy,” says Neena. “If the answer is negative, his mood becomes okay only in the evening. Vinayan will say it may be due to some fault of his.”

Like most creative people, Vinayan is soft towards his children. “If Nikhila is late, in coming home, Vinayan will get very tense,” says Neena. “He is like a friend to them, but, at the same time, Vinayan is not one to put his arm around them.”

Owing to Vinayan's hectic career, Neena ended up becoming the hands-on parent. “There were times when he made three to four films a year and I had to manage the house all by myself and look after the education of the children,” she says. “Vinayan has never been to school or college to meet the children's teachers.”

That may be so, but Vinayan does go out of his way to help people. “If anybody came to him with a problem he will try to help as much as possible,” says Neena. “There was one assistant who was suffering from cirrhosis of the liver. He was hospitalised at Lakeshore Hospital and Vinayan met all the expenses. And when a senior writer had his leg amputated, he ran around to get contributions to help pay the hospital bills.”

About his negative points, Neena says, “Vinayan is hot tempered. I cannot predict when he will get angry. It may be over a small matter like if the shirt has not been properly ironed. On the set, he tends to get angry with his assistants. But, later, he will apologise to them.”

Meanwhile, after 28 years of marriage, Neena has simple tips to give. “We must learn to be patient,” she says. “When my husband loses his temper, and if I get angry at the same time, it will create a lot of problems. One person has to bend a bit. The woman should do it because she is a mother. She must always remember that if there are too many fights it will affect the children.” 

(The New Indian Express, Kochi and Thiruvananthapuram)

No comments:

Post a Comment