Thursday, January 22, 2009
The 'emptiness' of George Bush!
News item: The United States will take its first shot at an out-of-control spy satellite trying to knock it into the sea before it crashes to earth, reports CNN. By Shevlin Sebastian
This is what happened: because the spy satellite had a few loose screws, the controls had gone haywire. Instead of spying on Russia, as was the gameplan, the spy satellite had begun looking inside American President George Bush's head. When the satellite images were sent back to the Pentagon, it sparked a sense of alarm among the officials.
"There is nothing inside the head, Sir," said officer Bob Marsh.
"What do you mean?" said Richard Smith, his boss.
"It is a vast and empty cavern. Apparently, no light can penetrate it. The place is extremely cold, and, instead of oxygen, there is poisonous carbon monoxide."
"How does he survive?" asked Smith.
"Apparently, our scientists said, only Bushes, and that too of the George variety, can survive in this environment, not human beings," said Marsh.
"What about the left or right hemispheres?" Smith said.
"There are no hemispheres, Sir, neither right nor left," said Marsh.
"What about the cortex, temporal lobe, hypothalamus or the amygdala," said a desperate Smith.
"These are just empty words for President Bush," said Marsh. "It means nothing to him."
"What about intelligence, logic, reasoning and intuition?"
"Aren't you asking for too much, Sir?" said Marsh. "We are talking about the President of the United States, not an ordinary man on the street."
"There must be something inside his head!" shouted Smith.
"Yes, there is," conceded Marsh. "If you look through a microscope, at one corner of the cavern, you can detect a small drop of brain, the size of a button."
"What is it?" said Smith.
"It's his vocabulary and it consists of two words," said Marsh.
"Tell me the words!"
"One is Iraq and the other word looked the same initially… I had to really enlarge the scans before I could figure it out. It was IRAN. Or, as Bush pronounces it: I RAN, like as if the whole country is jogging."
"Oh my God, are we going to war with Iran?" said Smith.
"To know that, for sure, you will have to take a scan of Vice President Dick Cheney's head," said Marsh. "Apparently, Bush's original brain, which was with him when he was born, started residing in Cheney's head when he became the president. Meanwhile, I suggest, we shoot down the satellite."
"Why on earth for?" asked Smith.
"The satellite is going through an emotional meltdown," said Marsh. "In all its years of spying on people, it has never seen an empty head like Bush's."
"I agree," said Smith, and burst into song:
"The ruler of the free world has no brain,
For the people, he is a pain.
Hey man, I feel pooped,
Thinking about this nincompoop!"
"My sentiments exactly," said Marsh. "But Sir, there is a light at the end of this dark cavern."
"What is that?" said Smith.
"We can send the scans to Osama Bin Laden," said Marsh. "When he sees it, he might laugh so much, he could fall off the mountain where he is hiding, in Afghanistan and become a dead weight. The world will be a safer place after that."
"Good idea," shouted Smith. "Shoot down the satellite and send the scans to Osama!"