Killing an ant and other such moments

By Shevlin Sebastian 

The other day I killed an ant which was hovering near a bottle of honey in the kitchen at my home in Kochi. As I stared at the dead insect, an unexpected series of thoughts arose in me. ‘Some ant must be waiting for him to come back. Could be his ‘queen’ mate. And the children, too. They would be worried as the hours passed. Did any other ant see what I did? And rush to inform the ant colony. How did the colony mourn when the body was not there.’ Unceremoniously, I had blown the ant towards the washbasin and turned on the tap. It went to a watery grave. 

This particular colony must have cursed me, even as they shed tears. Death can be so random for ants, especially when they are wandering inside houses. On that morning, his queen mate could have told him, “I am not feeling good that you are going hunting for food in houses. Why not a garden or a park?” 

He would have consoled her, and said, “Don’t worry, I will be careful.” But unfortunately, he ran out of luck. 

There was a cockroach who would always stay inside a drawer which contained glasses and plates. But it was always cautious. Whenever I pulled opened the drawer, he would not be seen anywhere. But, one day, by accident, its guard was down and it came out in the open when I was there. I took a duster and hit hard. It looked shocked as it lay on its back, its legs punching away, like as if it was riding a bicycle, as the life force ebbed away. However, I could not escape a feeling of guilt and sorrow.

Once when I was travelling from the coastal town of Mararikulam to Kochi, in a cab, a cockroach was roaming behind the front seat of the driver. A woman colleague, who was with me, let out a scream, shook her hands, as if saying, ‘go away’, and raised her legs on to the seat. The shaken driver stopped the car immediately, came to the back and managed to flick the cockroach outside, without killing it. 

Now imagine the mental state of this cockroach. Thrown out on a busy highway, without any GPS, far away from home, what was he going to do now? Would he able to locate a colony of cockroaches nearby? Or was he going to wander around, feeling helpless and fearful? The terrain was new and strange. Dangers could lurk anywhere. 

I believe now, for peace of mind, we should follow the Jainism tenet of ahimsa: ‘Do not injure, abuse, oppress, enslave, insult, torment, torture or kill any creature or living being.’ 

(Published as a middle in The New Indian Express, South Indian editions)