An e-mail to a human being

 

Dear Thomas,

I am your wisdom tooth. I am writing on behalf of the others: the molars, the pre-molars, the incisors, and canine teeth. Just to remind you: we live inside your mouth, but you have ignored us for years. When we were born we were milk white. Now we are mostly yellow.

Nights, to be frank, are a hell. Since, dear Thomas, you don’t brush your teeth, after dinner, there are food particles stuck in many crevices. These include strands of meat and vegetables, a thin piece of noodle, a bit of apple, and a dab of chocolate. We don’t possess arms to get rid of them. These fragments fester and let off a bad stink because they tend to burrow into the tiny gaps between the teeth. They affect the gums. They make us feel weak and tired. We lose the energy and when you have food we are unable to chew as best as we can.

During some nights, we feel like dying. Only when you wake up the next morning and yawn that we get the breath of fresh air that we desperately need.

These particles are the enemy within. But what do you know about that? You lead such a distracted life. Do you have any idea of the reaction of people who talk to you? They twitch their noses, they look away or step back, sometimes with a look of horror on their faces. And do you know why? Because you have BAD BREATH! But you are so engrossed with what you are saying, you have no idea.

Sometimes, we feel ashamed that we belong to you. You are cold and uncaring. If we had a chance we would have got out and found a hospitable mouth. We want someone who cares for us. We want someone who brushes his teeth twice a day, and uses dental floss.

I just want to tell you that you need to brush at night. It is more important than the morning. If you get rid of all the particles we will feel clean, fresh, strong and in a positive frame of mind. Use Colgate toothpaste: they are the best in the world to fight tooth decay. My grandfather and father told me that.

And for God’s sake, use a tongue cleaner. Since, at 18, you are girl-crazy, let me give you a tip: you will enjoy kissing more. And so will your girlfriend.

Think about it!

I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Wise Guy

(Also known as Wisdom Tooth)